Thursday, May 10, 2007

Scottsdale Elitists Aiming For The Stars

After averaging 99 victories the last 3 seasons, Scottsdale Elitists bench coach Wesley Carver decided it was time for a change. Scottsdale's offense had been the top offense of each of the last three seasons, however, their pitching was painfully average, and they never moved past the second round of the playoffs.

"It was painfully obvious that we needed to acquire some top end pitching talent," stated Carver, "We would rather have 5-1 games than 8-6 games night after night." What Carver did next was suggested to owner Leppy Kahn that they acquire three talented starting pitchers, at any price. Kahn approved the signing of Jon Jacobs, Oswaldo Osuna, and Elvis Russell.

Corey Pote was traded, and then refused the trade saying "I want to be an Elitist until I die," Pote was promptly waived by the franchise. "It was either that or shoot him," Carver noted, "As far as I'm concerned, he's dead to the Elitists. Corey, have you ever seen Logan's Run?" Also gone is 52 HR/183 RBI 1B Glen Cedeno. The team even considered moving hitting phenom William Cho, who is widely considered to be a hall of fame caliber player, even though he's only 22. The Elitists replaced the veterans Pote and Cedeno with big bat Denny Lloyd and promoted another big bat to play 1st, Pascual Romero . The move of Pote allows the Elitists to finally move 22 year old phenom Fransisco Mercado from LF to 2B. Also switching positions is Earl Hardy. Hardy moves to SS, after playing 3B, RF, 3B in the previous 3 seasons. "I'll do whatever it takes to help the team win," says Hardy. His team first attitude will be helpful with the loss of other veteran leadership on the team... Veteran leadership whose departure leaves about $15M in cap space for the Elitists. "We'll be looking to make a deal," says owner Kahn, " It's pennant season in Scottsdale. We expect a lot from the Elitists. " Indeed.

The Elitists think rather highly of themselves. This reporter however, does not.
Projection - 70-91, 4th in the AL West.


William said...

Expecting to have a game rained out?

leppykahn said...